I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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