I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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