Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Your penis caused this!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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