I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
