12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
