im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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