Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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