We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
