This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
