It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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