So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize