I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize