The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
