No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
