I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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