DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
