I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Is it because I queefed?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
