well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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