worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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