North Korea, Best Korea!
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
