I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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