oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
How's work?
Spinning.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
