White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
