Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize