I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
