I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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