Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
