quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
