names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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