just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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