We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
