we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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