Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
