how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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