help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
