drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
our cab driver is having phone sex.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
