just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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