Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
