Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
