Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I understand Curling. That high.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
