I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
