So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
