What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize