Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize