i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
