The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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