I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just saw a hot homeless man
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
