i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
