Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
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