btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
