Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
