i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
No subtext here. People are naked.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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