i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
