I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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