I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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