He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
