ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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