i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
