it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize