we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
