You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize