So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
