I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I love you.
Bad choice
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize