Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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