I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
cat food counts as protein by the way
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
