I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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