do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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