Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize