So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You were trust falling into bushes
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
