The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize